This Journey Called Motherhood. Source: Maryann Muchugia

I am lying in bed right now, just staring at this whole new person in my life. I am a mother, guys, and I can't believe it! I still find this remark to be compelling. If you think your life has changed wait until you become a mother. It's an encounter full of inexplicable feelings of all kinds. When I say that mothers are everything to their children, what do I mean? Literally everything!

This journey called motherhood all started back in January 31, 2022, when I found out I was expectant. At first, I could not believe my eyes but after taking a second pregnancy test, everything became evident to me. I was in complete shock, and it felt as though my entire world was collapsing. The plan was always for me to have a baby by age twenty-eight, which I was and at least have had some part of my life figured out. However, the minute I saw the two positive lines on the pregnancy test I just felt the pressure to have everything right and perfect at that moment. Oh well, not everything goes as planned. 

After a week, I came to terms with the results, and it was now time to experience pregnancy. Before I discovered I was pregnant I was going about life all healthy but after the positive results that is when everything changed. My expectations about the morning sickness were not met. For me, morning sickness has always seemed like something that would start in the morning and end by ten in the morning. Boy was I in for a rude awakening. The morning sickness lasted for two months, full of nausea and no appetite for food. I specifically detested the flavor and aroma of onions. I'll be honest—this was the stage of pregnancy that I did not enjoy.

Four months into the journey I was now able to enjoy pregnancy. I started glowing, my skin was smooth, and I was able to eat food without throwing up. Fries, mangoes, and pineapples were some of my favorites - though I had to slow down on the fries. It was all going smoothly at this point and at twenty weeks I finally got to know the gender of my baby.

I was going to have a baby boy. My partner Baraka was over the moon and already had a few names in mind. I wanted a baby girl, but I had prepared myself mentally if the news was going to be any different. Babies are a blessing and all we ask for is a healthy baby.

Mama at four months pregnant and after finding out I was going to have a baby boy. Source: Maryann Muchugia

At twenty-two weeks I started feeling the baby kicking. At first, I did not know my little man was kicking I just thought they were cramps but when I realized otherwise, I was so excited. Throughout my pregnancy, I eagerly anticipated feeling those tiny kicks. Seven months in, the baby was moving so frequently that it occasionally hurt. I enjoyed tapping my huge growing belly just to feel the rolls and turns inside. It was magical!

The pregnancy was progressing fine and on the 6th October 2022 I welcomed my son into the world. He weighed 3.6 kgs slightly big so I was advised by the doctors to undergo a Cesarean and I thank God that everything went well. The healing process was not a joke, however your girl pulled through. My partner was heaven sent; he was hands on with the baby and encouraged me every step of the way. We got to experience a different kind of love we never knew existed.

My Son, born on the 6th of October 2022. Source: Maryann Muchugia

Back home and the challenge with hypogalactia

After four hard days in the hospital, it was time to bring my boy home. I would be lying if I said I was not scared. I worried I was not in the right head space to take care of my newborn since I was still experiencing some post-C-section discomfort. Taking care of a newborn was also new to me and that made it even more stressful. Thank God for Baraka, who reassured me that we "got" this and all will be fine.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself of how strong I was and how I was yearning to meet my baby all this time and now he was finally here. I had to do it for me and him. Unfortunately, I had a problem producing breast milk as it took longer than expected and my baby was also having a problem latching and had to be on formula for a few weeks.

Finally, I was able to produce breast milk and now we had to practice latching with my newborn. Guys, this was stressful. He hated everything about latching. He would cry every time I would try to latch him and I would bawl my eyes when I heard his little cries. Sometimes I would give up and just decide to pump milk for the little guy and give him the bottle. My partner was positive and encouraged me every day to keep trying and that gave me the strength to continue.

The day he latched I wanted to scream out of happiness, but it was painful. The pain was something I never knew about, and I only wished I had prepared myself mentally, physically, and emotionally for the breastfeeding journey. I got the hang of it, but it was not easy. The bond, however, was and is still amazing. 

Developing his personality

The first two months post-partum, my baby decided he would only sleep while being held. If I dared to put him down, that was the end of that sleep session. This was truly a struggle for us. We attempted every trick we came across, but nothing seemed to be working.

Sometimes I caved because that was the only way mama could get a break. At three months he began sleeping on the bed for a few minutes, sometimes an hour, and that was a win. From that point on, the hours got better, and he could sleep for hours.

At four months motherhood was somewhat different now that my baby was developing his personality. He was smiling, laughing, kicking his little legs while resembling his father more and more each day. To be completely honest, witnessing him reach particular milestones on a weekly and monthly basis was exciting and entertaining at this point.

In addition to making noises when holding his toys and playing with his shakers, my baby was also cooing, which was the cutest thing imaginable. Oh, did I mention that we also had to say goodbye to most of his newborn clothes at 3 months? He was growing too fast for me, but I loved it. The journey began to be a bit simpler for both the baby and me.

The delight of introducing solid foods and crawling

Six months was here and it was exciting for us. Finally, he was starting solids, and it was cool trying out different kinds of flavors and food textures. He started showing his interest in food when he was just four months and I admit that I occasionally gave him a taste of my meals. He has always enjoyed mangoes to date and to add to the list meat is among his favorites. I feel like he enjoys chewing the tiny bits I give him because he is always clapping his hands whenever he eats any kind of meat.

However, introducing him to solid foods was not a walk in the park. Sometimes he was down for it and other days he just did not want any food. It was stressful but I just went with the flow. Constipation was also a menace when he began eating solids, I was so relieved when it was over. I am still enjoying cooking and seeing which foods pair well together and also seeing his reaction every time I give him something new to eat.

I was eager to see my son crawl, but he could not stand tummy time. He never appreciated being put in that position and I felt like I was forcing him every time he cried. Instead, he decided he was going to walk while holding onto the furniture in the house. At first, I thought he was going to trip and fall, but my little man proved me wrong.

Even though he occasionally fell, he kept growing more and more confident until he became a pro at it. His two bottom teeth came in at seven months and boy oh boy was it a roller-coaster. When he was teething, he had absolutely no appetite for food and his gums would itch terribly. Mama's and daddy's hands had become his personal teether for two weeks. I called him my little rabbit with his two teeth while waiting for the other set of teeth to come in.

It may sound cliché when you hear the words, they grow up so fast but believe me they do. I kept buying clothes for my son every month and left to decide to buy clothes that are a year older than him just to save some clothes. Today they fit him, the next day he grew a few inches overnight.

Let's talk about the toys, shall we? Since he outgrew some of his toys frequently and no longer enjoyed them, I had to put them away. My kitchen utensils and the TV remote were his favorite toys at some point. He was not the same baby that I knew a few months ago, every day was a new day with my boy. He knew what he wants and what he dislikes early on. This I have learned through his many tantrums. 

Out and about enjoying walking. Source: Maryann Muchugia

A journey of progress

When my son turned 11 months old, we celebrated having a little walker in the house! He was exploring every inch of our home, leaving us chasing after him and hiding anything that might be dangerous. It was a frightening stage for me because he kept stumbling as he tried to find his balance.

At the same time, it brought me so much joy to watch my son push himself to reach new milestones. Sitting still was no longer an option for this little man and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for my son as we continue to grow together as a family.

Motherhood has taught me a lot and changed me in ways I would never have imagined. My son has contributed to my growth as a woman and a mother, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am in love with being a mum, but I cannot fail to mention the challenges it comes with.

Sometimes you feel lonely, overwhelmed, feeling like you are not doing your best and at times you are not able to recognize yourself in the mirror. It is a journey that needs no perfection, but patience and understanding. Mothers need all the help they can get and sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. We are only able to take care of others when we are also cared for. To all the mothers out there we are doing great!